"When things go wrong, as they sometimes will...
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high...
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but don't you quit."
These recent times have been really hard on me, as with many others I'm sure.
Sigh.
But in the dark ally of my life where I currently reside, I can taste... something.
Almost as though I'm on the brink of touching what's next for me. I feel it.
I recently had my 2nd job interview for a non-profit that offers counseling for families dealing with child abuse. A non-profit. It's what I've always wanted to do! Help give back to my community while in a workplace. This job seems almost meant for me... I'm still crossing my fingers to hear back from them.
I also recently went off of unemployment to get on disability since I had baby Abby. It's the only way to continue getting some sort of an income without getting in trouble with the state.
Since then, I applied for disability and now waiting for my first check... which could take a month. My little family will be relying on Mr. Tony to pay bills until then. It's a scary situation for me.
I'm in limbo. Waiting for that check to come in and then planning the next move after that runs out and continue looking for a job... OR getting the final "you're hired" from the non-profit within that month.
Like my life's next steps are dangled over my head. All the different directions I could possibly go... just waiting. I can taste something. Something, one of the paths, is about to drop on my lap. I can feel it. And when it does, it's hit-the-ground-running.
I've been preparing to prepare, to prepare. I'm ready. I'm anxious. I'm tired of the doubt and feeling heavy from life's tribulations that's been thrown at me.
In closing and to myself:
Dear Self,
"The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are...
It might be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit."
God bless.
