"3... 2... 1...HAPPY NEW YEAR!"
One of the sweetest little countdowns (next to the cake timer). Unfortunately, I had a growing fear of this specific countdown... and there was no option of resetting it before the buzzer.
2012 was one of the craziest years - I was planning my wedding in under 7mths. I can tell you all about stress and hair loss! There was no time for thinking of anything else. I counted down 2012 as a blurry one. I was determined to make the next year, my year. I wanted to bring myself back from the blur, to make something so grand of the new months... and to actually have time to enjoy it.
2013 unexpectedly became a "bucket list" theme. And as the list grew, so did my glow and zest for life with each undertaking I checked off... one by one. Who does that?!
I, maybe one of the rare souls, can actually say... I lived. And it was beautiful. I was brought back to life this past year and I can't even breakdown the list of the solo/family adventures or the secret details that made my days. Yes, there was much heartache at times... but looking at 2013 overall, hands down, will be remembered as the greatest year of my life. So far.
One of the biggest dreams that was on my bucket list, was to grow our family... and we checked that one right off! We're expecting! Tony and I are over the moon with this news and seeing Tony's face light up whenever he sees the baby bump, is one of the best sights to see. Baby Rodriguez will arrive in late June/early July of 2014.
So, as 2013 was coming to a close, it really hit hard. We're welcoming our second child which means, in the midst of such a beautiful blessing, I'm also predicting an abundance of struggles, sacrifices, and walking the line of defeat. *deep breath.
My heart sank.
Remembering life when we brought Abby home 4 years ago. My postpartum, our unforeseen financial situation... I became paralyzed with fear for what we'll be enduring this year. If it will be anything like it was then, or similar to, /shaking head... I can't even imagine.
It's true. Times are different now and we're in a much better place. We even have life-with-new-baby experience under our belts, so that's a plus, right? Wrong. Even so, all of that means nothing to me. Why? Because times are different and so, once again, everything is an "unknown".
I finally concluded this year's theme - Year of the Contender
Rodriguez vs. Life
This year will be of survival. Not only with society but also professionally (my first pregnancy/post-baby while employed), and of course, personally. I'll be battling against other's opinions, working 10x harder to hit deadlines... and facing my own demons.
I'll be honest. I'm deathly afraid of this year and what challenges 2014 has in store. All I know to survive, it'll take a lot of things... but above all, fight.
I'm back in the arena.
