Noah James

3:15am... the pain was much worse than the past few hours.
"Tony... Tony! I think this is it!"...I roll out of bed in time for my water to break all over the floor. Yep. That was it.

I'll spare the details of the labor. But know it was quick, excruciating, scary at times...

Wednesday, June 25th @ 6:48am. 
A very happy birthday to our little Noah James Rodriguez... or as Abby calls him "Noah Bear".
(I've always called Tony "Papa Bear" even before babies... so when Abby joyfully announced "Noah Bear", it was fate.)

Noah = a name we found in a baby book. We loved the way it sounded with "Abby" and "Rodriguez".
James = after my dad - James Edgar Roberts.

He's the most darling little boy and is thriving, already weighing in at 10pds (2wks after birth). He is amazing in every way - great sleeper, great feeder... he's always calm unless he's hungry and the sweetest little coo'er.

I consider him my miracle baby.

1. During labor, his heart-rate would slow to almost flatline during contractions. The most gut-wrenching sound, the slowing of his heartbeat... I was determined that he made it.
2. I've wanted a son, but was sure it wasn't going to be in my stars. But here he is. 
3. The first grandson for both sides of the family.
4. No colic. That is a miracle in itself.
5. His first 2wks of life, I can't express what I've been faced with. But it's him that reminded me of so much I've lost touch with during this time - he gave me a new sense of life that I've been needing.
6. Abby is my angel baby (her story)... and little Noah, my miracle baby.

We're over the moon in love and excited to be a family of four. Abby loves on him often and always wants to be near and help out with her "baby brother." I will admit she is a bit more sassy now and is looking for extra affection - which she has the right and we're happy to give it.

Change of a Lifetime

To reiterate what I recently posted on Facebook:

 "I knew going into 2014, there will be change and challenges with a new baby, Abby starting Kindergarten, and ultimately resetting family routine... and now, today, another opportunity of huge change for our family was finally just set into motion. Hoping to share the news soon." 

I'm finally able to share. But I need you to truly understand and feel the depth of this new chapter - here's some background.

Understand that ever since Tony has been able to work, he's always, always had 2 - 3 jobs and always, always ran hard 10-15hr days, 7 days a week, at times including college classes:

• Starting at the age of 13 - mowing lawns (to buy comic books) 
• Gary's Tuxedos - 1yr 
• Del Paso Country Club - 1yr
• Round Table Pizza - off and on for ~5yrs 
• Bonney & Gordon - 4yrs 
• Sports Authority - 6yrs 
• San Juan Unified School District - the entire 13yrs 

I've watched (and still watch) him day in and day out, getting up every morning with no complaints and head into work. When I think about it... he's never complained about going into work. And he's the kind of man that won't give in to play hookey just for a day. He's dedicated.

His work ethic is beyond any other and besides the need to pay bills... he's done all this because he loved his jobs. Especially the San Juan Unified School District.

Up to this point, he's had 2 jobs these past ten years... and then an opportunity was presented to Tony. One that would be against his (our) norm, change our daily routine... and our family time. This opportunity did take time for the details to come together and all the while, took Tony months of carefully thinking and planning those details. Weighing the options, stressing, and losing sleep - What's best for the family? 

The decision was finally made.

It is with a very heavy heart for Mr. Tony, that he'll be saying goodbye and parting ways from the 13yrs with the San Juan Unified School District.

It's leaving those babies he's watched from preschool, to who still visits Tony even now that those same babies, are almost out of high school. Saying goodbye to the kids is what hurts him the most. And me too.

I just loved his stories he had everyday after work. Things the kids did or said, what he's proud about, his concerns and hopes for them. He knows all of their stories and family lives. He knows their siblings and close with their parents... this will be Tony's last week at SJUSD.

Mr. Anthony James has accepted a full-time manager position at Sports Authority.

In all his jobs, he's worked hard. Nothing different with this one. Sports Authority acknowledges his incredible work ethic and leadership skills. He's turned 2 stores around and took them to rank top in the region... and they see his teammates looking to him as their mentor.

With this acceptance, he now has only one job. ONE full-time job... did you hear my heavy sigh?

He'll now have two COMPLETE days off. He'll now be able to join me and Abby with outings and friend/family gatherings, holidays. NOW, I won't have to worry as much about him running so hard with little sleep. NOW, Tony and I will be able to see more of each other... more... of everything.

I'm starting to cry.

I can breathe... and he'll be able to sleep.  Yes, we're both nervous about this giant leap of faith. Working with his new schedule, reworking our daily routine with Abby's school dropoff/pickup, and wondering about bills... but overall, I'm humbled, so proud... and very much grateful.

To Mr. Tony.  I love you.  

Like Father, Like Son

Family of 3.5

2014: Year of the Contender

"3... 2... 1...HAPPY NEW YEAR!" 
One of the sweetest little countdowns (next to the cake timer). Unfortunately, I had a growing fear of this specific countdown... and there was no option of resetting it before the buzzer.

2012 was one of the craziest years - I was planning my wedding in under 7mths. I can tell you all about stress and hair loss! There was no time for thinking of anything else. I counted down 2012 as a blurry one. I was determined to make the next year, my year. I wanted to bring myself back from the blur, to make something so grand of the new months... and to actually have time to enjoy it.

2013 unexpectedly became a "bucket list" theme. And as the list grew, so did my glow and zest for life with each undertaking I checked off... one by one. Who does that?!
I, maybe one of the rare souls, can actually say... I lived. And it was beautiful. I was brought back to life this past year and I can't even breakdown the list of the solo/family adventures or the secret details that made my days. Yes, there was much heartache at times... but looking at 2013 overall, hands down, will be remembered as the greatest year of my life. So far.

One of the biggest dreams that was on my bucket list, was to grow our family... and we checked that one right off! We're expecting! Tony and I are over the moon with this news and seeing Tony's face light up whenever he sees the baby bump, is one of the best sights to see. Baby Rodriguez will arrive in late June/early July of 2014.

So, as 2013 was coming to a close, it really hit hard. We're welcoming our second child which means, in the midst of such a beautiful blessing, I'm also predicting an abundance of struggles, sacrifices, and walking the line of defeat. *deep breath. 
My heart sank.

Remembering life when we brought Abby home 4 years ago. My postpartum, our unforeseen financial situation... I became paralyzed with fear for what we'll be enduring this year. If it will be anything like it was then, or similar to, /shaking head... I can't even imagine.

It's true. Times are different now and we're in a much better place. We even have life-with-new-baby experience under our belts, so that's a plus, right? Wrong. Even so, all of that means nothing to me. Why? Because times are different and so, once again, everything is an "unknown".

I finally concluded this year's theme - Year of the Contender

Rodriguez vs. Life

This year will be of survival. Not only with society but also professionally (my first pregnancy/post-baby while employed), and of course, personally. I'll be battling against other's opinions, working 10x harder to hit deadlines... and facing my own demons.

I'll be honest. I'm deathly afraid of this year and what challenges 2014 has in store. All I know to survive, it'll take a lot of things... but above all, fight.

I'm back in the arena.

Little Things... Every Day

Glowing... *deep breath
I fear I may have pumped up the “details to come” a little in my recent Facebook post about my "one HELL of a week"... and hope I don’t disappoint anyone. These little details, these little things every day, are the kind that help create the kind of life I live and they mean the world to me.

This week. Going into Monday, I knew there will be challenges - professionally and personally... but I never expected to have experienced the warmth of it all as I did.

Professionally, whew!
A high level view: my task list was ever growing, teammates were depending on me... and my adrenaline rush revved high. ALL week. BAM! I was one bad mother mhmm and a multi-tasking fool! Among my oozing awesomeness this week, was the unspoken support of the team that helped me succeed.

Your job is not a job if you love it... and have fun. During the hustle and bustle of the day, is the laughter and random visits. Without them knowing it, I needed the team more than ever this week and as usual, they were there... just being themselves.

Also excited to be planning a community service project, a food drive, that will launch this coming Monday at the office. I’m thrilled that me and the team will be able to participate this year. I remember my fire growing when I was looking at the details for this. Can’t wait.

Personally, Mmmm.
My latest tattoo session was this week (there will be a special post for this), and it was only one highlight of the week. Once again, it’s was humbling... and the art piece is coming to life.

The week progressed with it’s personal struggles, like every week... but having a great circle of friends made the struggles a little less heavy. Went to support Ana and David at their soccer game... yet another highlight. I love seeing loved ones do what they’re passionate about and being able to support them any way I can. Brings me joy seeing their joy.

Friday came and as we do often, Ana and I had lunch at our spot, Arigatos. Sharing stories, laughing... this time, tears. At the end of our lunch, she wanted to ask me a question. She presented a gift on the table, then proceeded to ask if I would do the honor of being her Matron of Honor! Sigh. Before she finished her sentence, I started crying. Overwhelmed with love, happiness. Indescribable.

Ana isn’t just a friend, she’s a soulsister. I’ve always felt it, we have so many little things that makes up our friendship, but it was the fact we had scabs at the same time I did that solidified our connection. Yes, scabs. Tomboys at heart. HA!

Yes, another sigh. This week has been enlightening, fun, crazy-busy, joyous, and simply beautiful.

[I share these moments with you in hopes that you feel them too.]

Anthony "Tony" Rodriguez

Anthony "Tony" James Rodriguez

My love.  I don't give you nearly enough praise as you deserve.  From time-to-time, when I slow down, I'm able to step back, think of what you do for me and our family... and I'm always left in such awe, then find myself falling in love with you all over again.

The "Tony" reasons that makes my heart beat:

• (2) jobs - I don't see you often and I try not to say anything otherwise.  I know you're doing what you can to the best of your ability... busting your butt to support our family... and what I think I admire the most about you, is the fact you don't complain about going into work.  You just get it done and with such integrity.

• Times we're able to see each other - You make sure to show and tell me you love me... at all times.  All in the little ways of letting me sleep in, making coffee, kissing my forehead, tell me sweet nothings, making dinner, adding a straw to whatever beverage... the list is long - and I love it all.

• Out in public - You ensure you're always walking by the street - making sure your girls are safe on the sidewalk.  You always have my hand in yours, open doors for me, pull out my chair (and tuck me in), share your food and give me the last bite of whatever goodness is left... your constant chivalrous manner is just one primary factor that makes me fall even more in love with you.

• You're my opposite - but on all the levels we should be.  We have that balance that keeps each other sane... the biggest one:  I'm often stressed, you're laid-back and remind me to "be".  I need that, often.

• 10yrs, one beautiful baby, and an incredible wedding later - I think back to everything we've been through.  No one will ever understand the depth of our story, but what people do know, it was all meant to be - and it is.  To now be called your "wife" has brought me one of the greatest joys... carrying your last name and knowing we'll be by each other's side as we grow old.

• In conclusion - I only hope that I can show you the same amount of love, honor, support, and admiration you have shown and still show me... I honestly feel like I've just been going and not expressing my appreciation to the extent I know I'm able.  You deserve only the best, Papa Bear.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.  

With everything I have and everything I'm able to give... I love you.

Eternally yours,

Jennifer Daniele Rodriguez

(2002)

(2012)

Grandma Darlene Langford

This late Sunday evening...
As I sit at the dining room table, contemplating life - all the deep internal emotions I'm trying to come to terms with along with reviewing actual tasks that need to get done personally and professionally, I break.  Attempting to understand my internal battles, trying to get back on track since returning from my honeymoon, still re-wrapping my brain around everything... I can't help but become utterly overwhelmed.

Out of everything stirring inside me, strangely, the breaking point was the thought of Grandma.  She came to mind when a song started playing in the middle of all this.  At that moment, I realized just how much I miss her... and needed her.

She passed a few years ago.  She was THE grandma.  At the time of her passing, I was sad - but kept going about my business and never had the grieving process.  So, why all of a sudden?  Because I actually sat still in one spot long enough to even deal?  I don't know.

I never had the chance to say my good-bye.  I wasn't able to make it to her funeral either... I felt no closure on my side.  Since then, I would still think of her from time to time and the memories.

She was my favorite to visit.  It was a 6hr drive, but I knew the fun that was waiting and didn't hesitate to jump in the van.  She was so artistically talented.  Painting on old saw blades or driftwood... just in awe of her detail and realistic technique.  Making dolls and winning blue ribbons in county fairs.  We were always surrounded with craft supplies... which was my favorite.

I always loved how she put on her make-up and all her diamond jewelry.  Always dressed up for any occasion... and now that I think of it, she'd draw on her eyebrows too!

She spoiled us grandchildren and saved our behinds from whoopin's once or twice.  Her stories of her parents and our other "crazy" relatives, her laugh, her love for Tanya Tucker and dancing with us in their living room.  I loved her.  Her everything.

On my wedding day last week, my mom came up to the room I was getting ready in and presented "something old"...her mother's diamond costume ring.  Grandma always wore it and I always admired it.  I had to catch my breath and tried not to cry, ruining my make-up before my vows.  It meant the world to me.

...so, tonight, while listening to Spotify, and when everything in life was attacking me at once, Tanya Tucker's "Two Sparrows in a Hurricane" began to play.  One of her top favorite Tanya Tucker tracks.

Although I didn't get to say my own "good-bye", this post feels a little like closure for me.  Acknowledging her spirit and how she touched my life.

I post this song - In honor of Grandma... and the reminder that when the world says we'll never make it, love says we will.

xoxo

Warm Summer's Eve

as per February 26th 2010 post:

Barefoot and wearing a summer dress made of rayon, hair down in waves, and face naked with only blush and lip balm.

Sun setting, sky illuminated with yellow and pink hues. A slight breeze moving through the green, green grass... and the smell of BBQ bliss in the air.

With a glass in hand, I'm sitting on an antique lounge chair resting on a porch. A small stand by my side holding a lit candle and the opened bottle of rich wine.

Content, on a warm Summer's eve... all the while this song plays in the background: 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHV4nncKDMA&feature=related

Mmmm.  I can't wait for summer.

[♥]